Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Catalogue of Myself.

So I got to thinking about organ donation... As you do. Now I have to say straight out that I am a total, 100%, unselfish believer in donating your organs and other parts of your body when you pass on. I believe the soul is separate to our physical selves and it is the best thing you can do, because, let's face it, you won't be needing it, right? Well I won't, because I want to be cremated. Hear Ye, all that read this as you bear me witness on this comment. I have told this to Shane many, many times but of course he doesn't want to hear comments like that. So you are now my backup.

Some of this come about because of an ultrasound Devon had when she was 11 days old regarding her kidneys. Her right kidney is sitting a lot lower than the other, it's located down in her pelvis. This is called 'Ectopic Kidney' and is congenital, it occurs in 1 in a 1000 births. It needs to be monitored to make sure it doesn't cause problems for her later in life. And this is what started my mind wandering.

So in case of the unthinkable, here I am...

Brain - This of course would be snapped up first due to my extremely high IQ level and the fact that I've never had shock treatment. I'm sure it's nicely... grey? and healthy and seriously, I'm not a complete dumbass so it should be worth something.

Hair - This would definitely be suitable for cutting and donating for a wig I think. My hair is fine but there's a lot of it, and it's very porous so you can, like, colour it, like, whatever colour you want! Neat huh?

Eyes - These are great as I had laser eye surgery done in February 2007 so my vision is spot on. The colour might put some people off as they are a murky blue-grey, but hey, if you don't like it, don't look at 'em! (Geddit?)

Tongue - Do people donate their tongues? Dunno! But in case, someone needs one... My taste buds work and I don't have a tongue piercing (gross). So, what else is there?

Heart - Don't know about this one. I have ectopic beat, which is an irregular heartbeat caused by stress and I have to be careful when getting anaesthetics and certain medicines. Then again, if a real relaxed hippie wanted my heart, they'd be fine.

Liver - I've never been a big drinker so this organ should be fine. Anyway, I really love Midori and Lemonade but I doubt this would do much damage coz it's such a poofy drink.

Kidneys - I have both my kidneys. So... yeah.

Gallbladder - Absent. Sorry, that got removed in May 2006. Thank God too, those stones hurt.

Lungs - Again, this could be an issue. I get asthma when I get cold, so maybe whoever inherited these should take a leaf from my book and live in the north where it's warmer. I haven't used my puffer in over 6 months until this week, as I've suddenly developed a viral chest infection with a very annoying phlegmy cough, gross.

Eggs - If someone wanted my eggs, I wouldn't say no to that. I make beautiful babies so that'd be a definite plus. It wouldn't surprise me if organ donation developed to this level!

Skin - Depends. I am a bit freckly on my shoulders and have some moles here and there, but otherwise, it's nicely stretchy and smooth.

Hands / Feet - (I think) I have lovely hands. My fingers are long (piano fingers) and my nails grow fast, so they'd suit someone who was petite and delicate, like me! But they can't have my rings, my daughters get those!
Someone can also have my feet, but only after they get a good pedicure.

Limbs - Go for it. But you might want to make sure the hands and feet aren't already taken, as per the above piano playing ballerina recommendation.

Geez. This list has gone from me boasting about my good health to a hypochondriac's drone of 'Poor Me'. Hmmm. Just makes me think I need to take better care of myself for the next person who might be lucky enough to own a piece of me. Happy thought.
Wouldn't it be funny if that was the prerequisite to being on the Organ Donor's List! Question: Do you abuse yourself regularly? Answer: Oh yes, I take all sorts of drugs and alcohol, jump off cliffs and worse, I don't moisturise! Then no, bugger off, we don't want you! Heh heh.